"Conception"

FYC: "Conception" - Christopher Nolan's sci-fi follow-up in which a team of fertility experts led by a brilliant but psychologically traumatised Leonardo Di Caprio is hired to insert sperm into the fallopian tubes of a unwitting sleeping host without being detected.

"The Idiot"

FYC: "The Idiot" - Russian classic, starring Vin Diesel.

'Baker's Dozen'

FYC: 'Baker's Dozen' - Krystof Kieslowski's violent, madcap heist caper starring Tahar Rahim as wise-cracking veteran Lt Johnny Baker and his 11 disenfranchised war buddies who go for one last big score: knocking over the Knott's Berry Farm theme park next to Disneyland. But Baker doesn't count on having to bring in a bungling deaf mute (Juliette Binoche)... or falling in love!

"On Her Majesty's Silver Service"

FYC: "On Her Majesty's Silver Service" - Fish-out-of-water comedy in which hilarious CIA super-spy Ben Stiller is sent to infiltrate the snooty waiting staff of Buckingham Palace in order to unmask an Al-Qaida assassin and stop him (or is it her?!) from blowing up the Queen. Guest-featuring Rowan Atkinson as the young princes' drug-dealer and Vin Diesel as Pippa Middleton's twin arse cheeks.

"As You Would Be Done By"

FYC: "As You Would Be Done By" - Hilarious sci-fi/rom-com/courtroom drama in which a paedophile with a conscience invents a time machine so he can abuse a child guilt-free, i.e. himself. Executive Produced by the late Michael Jackson, who contributed numerous songs including "Man in the mirror."

"Top Mutt: The Search for Hooch"

For Your Consideration: "Top Mutt: The Search for Hooch" - sequel to three 80s classics in which the soul of a fighter pilot's dying dog is transfered to his co-pilot's mind.

"The Unbearable Lightness of Bling."

FYC: "The Unbearable Lightness of Bling." - Steven Seagal and Fifty Cent star as two mismatched detectives on the trail of ruthless diamond thieves in this sequel to Milan Kundera's meditation on Nietzsche. *warning* Heavy violence and eternally reccurent wobbling of Seagal's jowls.

"Herbie's shit Christmas"

FYC: "Herbie's shit Christmas" - Festive finale to the automotive franchise. Herbie rolls in to Alabama on Christmas Eve, just as a hapless kitchen chemist accidentally taints the Klan's water with LSD. Afraid and hallucinating, the Klansmen mistake the feisty VW Beetle for a black man and set fire to him in a public lynching by the town square. Heart-warming.

"Dude, where's my Tsar?!"

FYC: "Dude, where's my Tsar?!" - Prequel to 2000 stoner comedy with extra gravitas, in which two bungling Bolshevik serfs in early 20th Century Russia must recapture the Romanovs for a mass execution in Ipatiev House before the White-faction can rescue them... otherwise Lenin will not be pleased! Revolutionary.

"Two Legs Bad"

FYC: "Two Legs Bad" - A young boy (Vin Diesel) is put in a wheelchair after a terrible car accident results in amputation, but soon after finds he is haunted by the ghost of his own legs.

"Taxi Driver 2: You talkin' to M.E. ?"

FYC: "Taxi Driver 2: You talkin' to M.E. ?" - Paedo vigilante nut-job Travis Bickle has to take on the new Colombian drug barons whilst also battling Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. Contains simulated sex and real rain.

"Sense & Sensimilla"

FYC: "Sense and Sensimilla"-Adaptation of Austen classic from makers of "Shottas".When their father Dash is killed, sisters Marianne and Elinor have to resettle in Trenchtown,where Marianne becomes a crack-whore and Elinor gets involved in money-laundering.The two must find a balance between their smarts and their hearts to find happiness, true love, and enough guns to take their revenge in a protracted gang war. Music by Michael Buble

"If it had to be anyone, I'm glad it was you."

FYC: "If it had to be anyone, I'm glad it was you." - Krzysztof Kieślowsk's bittersweet romance about a Vatican altar boy and the Pope. Touching.