Monday, 31 October 2011

"The Life of Me, Part 5 - Like a Prayer"

FYC: "The Life of Me, Part 5 - Like a Prayer" - The latest and hopefully last installment of Madonna's epic autobiography, focusing on her unhappiness with her failed film career and the desparate occult steps to which she resorted to remedy it, ending with her being driven into hiding and only re-emerging as Japan's first female champion sumo wrestler. After yet another flop and the merciless ridicule of critics and film-goers alike, Madonna makes a Kabalistic prayer to His Darkness Cthulhu so she can invoke the spirits of Orson Welles and Marlon Brando. Sadly, she is only possessed by their appetites for fried food, and after she eats a small Mexican town (including the mayor) whilst on vacation, she has to flee angry villagers with pitchforks and burning torches, and reassess her life. But she finds redemption across the Pacific where her new found humility and body-mass index prove strangely useful in a local sport. Sadly the main character is both badly acted and completely unempaphetic. Starring Madonna as herself.

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