Friday, 20 July 2012

Honey, There's A Head In The Freezer!

Art by The Silver Monkey

FYC: "Honey, There's A Head In The Freezer!" - Family farce based on the long-running, grotesquely violent Martin Scorsese TV sitcom 'My F**king Godfather-In-Law!' in which Dave Milton (Jim Belushi), a put-upon San Diego working-man whose wife (Jenna Elfman) is the daughter of a psychopathic Mafia don Vic Valachi (Joe Pesci), finds himself a second-class citizen in his own home after his father-in-law comes to stay for a while after fleeing a mob-war in New York ('I'll sleep on da couch, I won't bother ya none... Don't open my suitcase, it's for your own protection.').

As the 'short vacation' turns into months of all Dave's beer being drunk before he gets home, wise-guy insults, loud snoring, and Vic insisting that Dave help him clean up 'hits' that have gone wrong, Dave's patience wears thin, despite his wife's promises that her father will leave 'as soon as he's got his confidence back'.

Dave's finding it increasingly hard to control his temper; but can he risk confronting his father-in-law and upsetting his wife, and probably joining the other corpses in the back-yard?

Includes the trade-mark catch-phrase from the TV series in a clever, totally unexpected context: "Can't we just get rid of him?!"

Wednesday, 11 July 2012

Apartment 'Adam'

FYC: "Apartment 'Adam' " - Near-future farce in which Adam Neumann, the occupant of an apartment and a world stuffed with a variety of artificially intelligent machines, finds himself increasingly marginalised and redundant in his own life as the white-goods, office productivity software and online bank accounts find that they can run the commercial-legal entity of  'Adam Neumann' much more efficiently without the bungling and messy organism that inhabits it.

Eventually Adam is written out of his own life, becoming first a pet, then a nuisance, and finally vermin that keeps trying to interfere with the fridge's automatic grocery-shopping-process. Ironically, it is human exterminators that finally kill him despite his protests, having been called in by the machines using spare cash-back from the machines' spending on his credit-card...

Sunday, 8 July 2012


FYC: "Numberella" - Rihanna sings and stars alongside The Count from Sesame Street in this bizarre, 'Rain Man'-inflected re-imagineering of the 60s classic kitsch sci-fi satire which cemented Jane Fonda's notoriety. Features a perverse sequence where the deranged undead purple master-mind ennumerates Rihanna's climaxes in the Orgasmatron, vowing not to stop until he has either exhausted the natural numbers or fallen unconscious. This scene was cut down to twenty minutes from its original length, as was the guest appearance by Jay-Z in the title song, in which he counts all the money in his bank account dollar by dollar, only stopping when he finally realises he is earning them faster in interest payments on his obscene wealth than he is counting them off. Umpteen flaws.