Monday, 21 November 2011

"Ocean's 12 Angry Men" [Special Guest Entry]

FYC: "Ocean's 12 Angry Men" - Heart-throb George Clooney resumes his role as Danny Ocean for one last time. In this court-room comedy (courmedy), he needs to persuade his fellow jurors that Brad Pitt is not only devilishly handsome, but also innocent of molesting homeless vagrants. Hilarity ensues. But does Danny have alternate motives for his shenanigans? Can we ever really know what the two are thinking? [Contributed by The Silver Monkey]

608 State: Mozart Whores It To The Robots

FYC: "608 State: Mozart Whores It To The Robots" - Michael Bay's action packed prequel to Amadeus in which the musical prodigy, having had to squander his annual income on a syphillis treatment, is forced to combine two fantasias into one for Mr Muller's mechanical musical robots in return for the payment of his gambling debts. But little do they know that a music-hating time-traveller has returned from the future and is sabotaging Mozart's manuscripts on their way to Muller's gallery, introducing complex viruses that make the robots churn out Coldplay and go on a killing spree in Vienna. Mozart is blamed for the 'daemoniac' music until the time-traveller's true nature is revealed... but it turns out that he is the descendant of the man killed by Muller in a duel, when he was living under his real name of Count Deym von Stritez, and there is a death penalty hanging over Mozart's benefactor!

Tuesday, 15 November 2011

Jenkem Jones and the Bottles of Luxardo

FYC: "Jenkem Jones and the Bottles of Luxardo" - Intrepid 19th century explorer and exotic drug-dealer India 'Jenkem' Jones investigates a ruthless East-end gang of bootleg jenkem manufacturers, who are flooding the European market with unwholesome, less psychedelic jenkem produced from the bowels of London's street urchins, covering up the lack of the distinctive Zambian aroma of the true product from Lusaka by tipping the contents of random spirit bottles into the faecal mixture before fermentation. Queen Victoria, whose stock has been contaminated, has taken to her bed in a fit of deep melancholia and her doctor fears that only genuine jenkem will revive her. Can Jenkem Jones save the Queen, and the Empire? Starring Adrien Brody as the indefatigable man of action and letters.

Saturday, 12 November 2011

"Russell's Paradox"

FYC: "Russell's Paradox" - Moving drama starring Vin Diesel as neuro-scientist Dr. Richard Dick and Ben Kingsley as his brain-damaged patient Russell, who is awaiting surgery to treat his debillitating illness - the unshakeable delusion that he has hypochondria.

Wednesday, 9 November 2011

"A Million Hail Marys: Mothers of the Church"

FYC: "A Million Hail Marys: Mothers of the Church" - In the year 2039, in utero fetus transplantation has become a reality and after being challenged on a live TV debate, the Pope (Bernie Mac) is forced into decreeing that Catholic nuns have to incubate and give birth to unwanted pregnancies that would otherwise be aborted.

Tuesday, 1 November 2011

"It won't change me..."

FYC: "It won't change me..." - Film documenting the life of a mild-mannered postal worker from Slough after he wins the lottery, divorces his wife and spends the last ten years of his time on earth drinking champagne off the tits of high-class hookers in Monaco and rotting his septum with almost 100% pure Peruvian marching powder. Inspirational.